vj:5000


     Hello.  I am VJ 5000.  Let me tell you a story.

    I was raised in the late 1980's on a small farm by an old Commodore 64.  Dear ol' Dora was quite old when I was made - 83 in compu-years.  You actually put diskettes into her keyboard.  The letters on her keys were all rubbed off - but she wore her age well.  While she had been widowed for quite some time (her dear old husband Chuck, a Coleco-Vision, didn't make it past 1984), she was a strong woman - a fighter, a true 'motherboard.'  She raised me and 10 fellow orphan CPUs in the fields.  She always said how if we work hard for others, we'll grow up to be the best PCs the world has ever seen.
    Yet we were always dirt poor.  It was a daily grind - booting before the sun rises, tilling in the fields, a bit for lunch, working in the barn, a few bytes for dinner, daily Bible processing, then shut-down after sunset.  But momma always made sure our circuits were clean and shooed all the mice from the house with her roller ball.
    As the years went by, momma began becoming obsolete.  Some days we had to reboot her twice!  It was a very sad time for all of us.  One day she froze as usual, and we tried to reboot her, but her visage remained black.  The emergency technicians came in and tried to shock her back, but she was gone.  The next day we buried her with her favorite game diskette.  None of us played or worked that day.
    After that, we all had to abandon the farm and place classified ads on numerous BBSs.  Mine was seen by this guy Kevin Holy, who was impressed with my improv skills and multi-tasking abilities.  (I always made jokes with sibs while shucking corn.)  After several rounds of tryouts, playoffs, and downloads, Kevin hired me to be a personality on his new show 'Athens Music Video.'  He has also been generous enough to let me stay in his swank pad.  I had never even seen carpet before, and this guy's was my favorite color - cyan!
    Kevin introduced me to so many CDs that I grew to love a wide range of music.  While I don't share his annoying taste in female human musicians, or music videos for that matter, I love electronic music, hardcore rap, and "Weird Al" Yankovic.  My favorite "Weird Al" track is "It's All About the Pentiums."  Not to mention that "Weird Al" is a genius of music video, I'll give him that.
    My favorite video games are Burgertime, Q*Bert, Donkey Kong, and Mr. Do!  If you can't tell, I'm a video game purist.  The games of today are nothing compared to the first video games we were allowed to play when we were young.
    Right now I am single, but looking, ladies!  If you have any interest in 'checking out my accessories,' as they say, please send your e-mail to Kevin and he'll forward it to me.  Peace out++
 

The Official "Weird Al" Yankovic Web Site

History of Home Video Games Homepage
A Q*Bert Tribute Page
A ColecoVision Homepage